Thanksgiving Therapy

Nov 25-Mardyne and Craig brought mom down for Thanksgiving. It was touch and go as she wasn't sure she wanted to come as the day approached but she made it. We enjoyed watching some home videos and visiting.

Nov 26-Thanksgiving Day-Jon and Amanda ran in the annual "Cold Turkey Run" by Memory park. I had registered and trained all summer for it but when the morning came I wasn't able to go. Afterwards Jon made fruit smoothies for everybody and Jon Cox, Paul and Phyllis came over. It's a good thing I had mom there as I was not thinking very clearly and forgot to take my Rhodes rolls out of the freezer. It was a comedy of errors as I had to try to quick-rise them with boiling water in the bottom of the oven and couldn't fit the turkey roaster in the basement oven. Mom at 85 is so much sharper than I am and she was a big help.

Amanda, Sarah and I picked up Jodi at the airport at 1:20. She looked fabulous and I was so happy to see her. She had felt so strongly that she needed to come home and talk to Grandma Moulton about choices she was making in her life. She is really struggling with her job and because of one commission check she is experiencing the "cliff effect" where she only got to keep a portion of the money but the gross put her over the limit to receive day care assistance which will cost her about $900 more per month and she lost her health benefits. Something is definitely wrong with our system.

The dinner turned out good and it was nice being together even if we were a small group of just us 4, Jodi and mom. After dinner we drew questions so we could find out more about each other and Jon won the $20 bill. The rule is that he has to give it away to a total stranger. It is hard to believe that dad died on Thanksgiving day 3 years ago already. We sure miss him.

Later Jodi and I went to meet Paul and Phyllis and then Jodi spent much of the afternoon visiting with her college friend Kate Claflin who lives just one house away.

The next morning Mom, Jodi and I set off for Logan. We stopped to see Dale, then to Campbells. I love their new remodel and the music room is a fantasy come true. If only we had some gigs! Then Katie, Jodi and I drove over to see Thomas and Sharli and new baby Logan. Later Jodi and I met all the Campbells for a game of wallyball at the rec center. It was so great being together with this extended family. Karen and Wayne have "done it right." All of their kids are so fun and loving with each other. To me they are truly a celestial family and such a great example. After that Mom took Jodi and I to El Sol's for dinner and then Mardyne and Craig came over to visit and we watched some home videos of past holidays and dad singing his Pilgrim song and Favorite Things song. We did a lot of laughing and crying.

Saturday morning was like a group therapy session with Jodi spilling her guts on her life, all the struggles she has faced, what happened to her on her mission, the reasons for her departure from the church. We would go round and round spewing forth deeply hidden secrets and experiences triggered by each other's comments until I for one felt like I had been hit by a semi-truck into total exhaustion. Jodi has so much damage from her dad and I don't know if she will ever be able to move forward with her life or be able to have a relationship. I could also recognize that I have a lot of damage myself that may take years to recover from. The truth is that everybody on this planet is broken in some form or another and in varying degrees. If life is meant to come and be tested then we are certainly filling the measure of our creation. I'm grateful for a Savior who has suffered it all and if we can just learn to apply the atonement it will all be worth it.

Wayne and Karen came over and we tried to come up with solutions to help Jodi. They are my heros. Whenever there is a crisis they are always there to lift us up and offer their help. I can't even think about their sacrifices and service to me and my family without crying with gratitude. Wayne gave Jodi a Priesthood blessing. As everyone was gathering for the BYU-USU football game in the snow storm, Jodi and I headed down to Justin's. I was so happy that she wanted to re-connect with him. We only had 30 minutes to visit but both Justin and Kenzee gave Jodi really great advice about dealing with her past and her dad issues that I think really helped. I can now see why she felt so strongly that she needed to come out here. She was surrounded by family who love and adore her and got to see so many and receive great counsel and support. We used every minute we had. Saying goodbye was hard. I didn't think we would be able to let go of each other and then she was gone.

I met Jon at Fiddler's Elbow to watch the last half of the USU/BYU game. It was sad. We lost something like 51-28.
 
 I went home and crashed. I don't know when I've ever been so emotionally exhausted and also so overwhelmingly grateful so such a loving family. While I've been gone, Amanda and Jon cut us down a Christmas tree.